Roast and Resolve

Upload your résumé, your homepage screenshot, or your dating profile. Get a free, brutally honest AI roast in 30 seconds. Pay to find out what to do about it.

What it is

Roast and Resolve is a B2C viral web app with a two-phase content loop. Phase one — the Roast — is a free, GPT-4o-powered critique designed to be shareable, score-driven, and emotionally resonant enough that you send it to a friend before you forget. Phase two — the Resolve — is a paid, actionable transformation report: rewrites, before/after comparisons, ATS-keyword fixes, industry-specific recommendations.

Three input modes:

• Résumé (PDF or DOCX) — layout, bullet language, ATS keywords, summary quality
• Website (URL, PNG, JPG, WEBP) — visual hierarchy, CTA clarity, design coherence
• Dating profile (PNG, JPG, WEBP) — bio hooks, photo selection, prompt quality

No account required to get the roast. Email is captured at the reveal as a soft gate, before the paywall.

What it does well

Reads what you sent it. Vision models that look at the actual screenshot or rendered PDF — not extracted text passed through a content filter. The roast knows whether your layout works, not just whether your words do.

Hits the joke. The roast is funny because the prompts are tuned to be. It's also accurate, because GPT-4o is reading the actual artifact. The combination is what makes people screenshot it.

Scores you with a number. Clarity, impact, ATS — and a single overall score with a verdict ("Rough," "Workable," "Solid"). Numbers travel further than paragraphs.

Closes the loop in the Resolve. The same model that mocked your bullets writes you better ones. Side-by-side before/after, downloadable rewrites, industry-aware suggestions. It earns the $9.99.

Built for the funnel. Stripe Embedded Checkout at the paywall. Cloudflare R2 for the shareable Roast Card. Supabase capturing leads at email-gate. The whole thing is engineered to convert a laugh into a paid reader without breaking the spell.

Who it's for

Job-seekers who want a fresh, unsentimental read on the résumé they've stared at for three weeks.

Indie founders and freelancers who suspect their homepage isn't converting and want to know specifically what's wrong.

Daters who can't tell whether the problem is the bio, the photos, or the algorithm.

Anyone who's been told "your X is great" by people who love them and would like a stranger's opinion.

What it looks like in practice

A job-seeker uploads her résumé as a PDF. The app converts the first page to a JPEG, uploads it to R2, and calls GPT-4o Vision. Thirty seconds later: a roast, a score (Clarity 31, Impact 18, ATS 44, Overall 23 — "Rough"), and a paywall blurred over the Resolve report. She drops her email, screenshots the roast, sends it to her group chat, buys the $9.99 Pro tier, downloads the rewritten version, and updates her résumé before bed.

A founder pastes his homepage URL. The roast points out that his hero is a slideshow nobody asked for, the CTA is below the fold on mobile, and the "Features" section reads like a list someone made in a hurry. The Resolve report rewrites the hero, suggests a CTA placement, and provides three alternative section orderings. He pays, ships the changes, and watches his trial conversions climb the next week.

What it's not

It's not a recruiter. It can rewrite your résumé; it can't introduce you to the hiring manager.

It's not a designer. It can tell you your homepage is broken; it won't deliver finished pixels.

It's not a dating coach. It can fix the bio. The dates are still on you.

Pricing

| Tier | Price | What you get | |---|---|---| | Quick Fix | $1.99 one-time | Top 5 critical fixes with rewrites + ATS keyword report | | Resolve Pro | $9.99 one-time | Full document rewrite, before/after comparison, industry optimization, cover-letter template | | Unlimited | $29.99/month | Everything in Pro + unlimited roasts + unlimited resolves + LinkedIn optimization + direct AI chat |

Status

Shipping. Stack: Next.js 15 + FastAPI + GPT-4o + Supabase + Stripe + Cloudflare R2 + Nginx on EC2 behind Cloudflare strict SSL.